Love Like There is No Tomorrow

PLEA for Adoption Grant Info

2009-06-11T17:20:00.001-04:00

PLEA for adoption grant information! I fell in love with a sweet 10 year old boy while I was in Ethiopia with Kelly. He's been at the orphange for over a year and still does not have a family to call his own. Curly and I would LOVE to be his parents but it is not financially possible at this time. PLEASE let us know about any legit grant resources. We are a very spiritual family but have no specific religious affliation.....we are commited to being a family of the World.

Thoughts of a Mom -- For My Friends with Children with Special Needs

2009-05-06T12:34:00.002-04:00

Thoughts of a Mom
By Maureen K. Higgins

Many of you I have never even met face to face, but I've searched you out every day. I've looked for you on the Internet, on playgrounds and in grocery stores. I've become an expert at identifying you. You are well worn. You are stronger than you ever wanted to be. Your words ring experience, experience you culled with your very heart and soul. You are compassionate beyond the expectations of this world. You are my "sisters." Yes, you and I, my friend, are sisters in a sorority. A very elite sorority.

We are special. Just like any other sorority, we were chosen to be members. Some of us were invited to join immediately, some not for months or even years. Some of us even tried to refuse membership, but to no avail. We were initiated in neurologist's offices and NICU units, in obstetrician's offices, in emergency rooms, and during ultrasounds. We were initiated with somber telephone calls, consultations, evaluations, blood tests, x-rays, MRI films, and heart surgeries. All of us have one thing in common. One day things were fine. We were pregnant, or we had just given birth, or we were nursing our newborn, or we were playing with our toddler. Yes, one minute everything was fine. Then, whether it happened in an instant, as it often does, or over the course of a few weeks or months, our entire lives changed. Something wasn't quite right. Then we found ourselves mothers of children with special needs. We are united, we sisters, regardless of the diversity of our children's special needs. Some of our children undergo chemotherapy. Some need respirators and ventilators. Some are unable to talk, some are unable to walk.

Some eat through feeding tubes. Some live in a different world. We do not discriminate against those mothers whose children's needs are not as "special" as our child's. We have mutual respect and empathy for all the women who walk in our shoes. We are knowledgeable. We have educated ourselves with whatever materials we could find. We know "the" specialists in the field. We know "the" neurologists, "the" hospitals, "the" wonder drugs, "the" treatments. We know "the" tests that need to be done, we know "the" degenerative and progressive diseases and we hold our breath while our children are tested for them. Without formal education, we could become board certified in neurology, endocrinology, and psychiatry.

We have taken on our insurance companies and school boards to get what our children need to survive, and to flourish. We have prevailed upon the State to include augmentative communication devices in special education classes and mainstream schools for our children with cerebral palsy. We have labored to prove to insurance companies the medical necessity of gait trainers and other adaptive equipment for our children with spinal cord defects. We have sued municipalities to have our children properly classified so they could receive education and evaluation commensurate with their diagnosis.

We have learned to deal with the rest of the world, even if that means walking away from it. We have tolerated scorn in supermarkets during "tantrums" and gritted our teeth while discipline was advocated by the person behind us on line. We have tolerated inane suggestions and home remedies from well-meaning strangers. We have tolerated mothers of children without special needs complaining about chicken pox and ear infections

We have learned that many of our closest friends can't understand what it's like to be in our sorority, and don't even want to try. We have our own personal copies of Emily Perl Kingsley's "A Trip To Holland" and Erma Bombeck's "The Special Mother." We keep them by our bedside and read and reread them during our toughest hours. We have coped with holidays

We have found ways to get our physically handicapped children to the neighbors' front doors on Halloween, and we have found ways to help our deaf children form the words, "trick or treat." We have accepted that our children with sensory dysfunction will never wear velvet or lace on Christmas. We have painted a canvas of lights and a blazing Yule log with our words for our blind children. We have pureed turkey on Thanksgiving. We have bought white chocolate bunnies for Easter. And all the while, we have tried to create a festive atmosphere for the rest of our family. We've gotten up every morning since our journey began wondering how we'd make it through another day, and gone to bed every evening not sure how we did it. We've mourned the fact that we never got to relax and sip red wine in Italy.

We've mourned the fact that our trip to Holland has required much more baggage than we ever imagined when we first visited the travel agent. And we've mourned because we left for the airport without most of the things we needed for the trip. But we, sisters, we keep the faith always. We never stop believing.

Our love for our special children and our belief in all that they will achieve in life knows no bounds. We dream of them scoring touchdowns and extra points and home runs. We visualize them running sprints and marathons.. We dream of them planting vegetable seeds, riding horses and chopping down trees. We hear their angelic voices singing Christmas carols. We see their palettes smeared with watercolors, and their fingers flying over ivory keys in a concert hall. We are amazed at the grace of their pirouettes. We never, never stop believing in all they will accomplish as they pass through this world.

But in the meantime, my sisters, the most important thing we do, is hold tight to their little hands as together, we special mothers and our special children, reach for the stars.

By Maureen K. Higgins

Back from Africa

2009-04-27T10:26:00.005-04:00

Adoption is a beautiful and life changing event in and of itself. Having the opportunity to witness the love of uniting a family is something so special. Having the chance to see the world with a new set of eyes is something that I will never forget.

I had the privilege of traveling with my dear friend Kelly to pick up her beautiful son from Ethiopia. It was more than I could have ever imagined even though I've read, researched and heard from others.

We met up last Saturday morning in NYC. We were greeted by our friends Natalie and Sheri and spent the day enjoying NY (and its awesome food!) with our friends during our day long layover. Natalie drove us back to the airport around 8pm for our 11pm flight on Emirates Air bound for Ethiopia with a stop over in Dubai in the UAE.

The plane was beyond cool! It was a double decker with insane food! We had movies, video games and TV shows to watch during the 12 1/2 flight to Dubai. We landed in Dubai and spent the night at the airport hotel. Talk about futuristic and cool. The guy that processed my Visa looked like Ryan from The Office dressed in traditional UAE dress. We learned after the fact that it is improper to smile at men in Dubai because it is seen as flirting. You all know me, I'm a smiling machine. I bet that I had quite the rep!

We slept a few hours and showered (one of the few for the week!) and then boarded our plane to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We flew over the dessert and landed in the middle of gorgeous mountains. It was breathtaking! We got to Ethiopia on Monday morning (we left on Sat. am for those of you tracking time).

We were greeted by Kelly's facilitator and taken to the Addis Guest House. It was quite comfortable and set up like a one bedroom apartment. We had our own bathroom! Abebe, the agency rep, took us immediately to Behailu's orphanage called Hope so Kelly could get him. We were not in the director's office but a few minutes when a sweet little boy came into the room and hugged Kelly. Behailu is gorgeous! He had kept a photobook of his new family by his side since Christmas and knew immediately when he saw Kelly that she was Mom. Seeing him with his forever Mommy was so amazing. We met his friends and had our 1st of many delicious coffee ceremonies. We brought Behailu back with us to the Guest House and got to know him. He was excited by all of his new clothes (he loved folding them and trying them on), foods to try and the TV remote control. There were many 1st's for him. At 6 years old, it was something to see.

We spent our time in Ethiopia visiting several different orphanages and meeting the children. They were all so remarkable! In effort to protect their privacy, I cannot post any pictures of children waiting for their Forever Families.

The weather was warm and sunny during the day with a great breeze to keep you cool. Nights were chilly because our altitude. The people of Ethiopia were so kind and happy. They welcomed us everywhere with smiles. I can't even explain the level of poverty that we witnessed. It truly was like nothing I have ever seen. People were poor but they still had the strength to smile. I loved that. It taught me so much about what is REALLY important in life.

We enjoyed awesome food throughout the trip and had many laughs.

Our journey home started on Friday night. We left Addis Ababa at 7:30pm. We were fortunate to get upgraded to business class on the flight to Dubai. WOW! Complete luxury! Filet and champagne and HUGE reclining leather chairs. We had a quick plane change in Dubai and we were back to real life and Economy class on the long ride back to NYC. Because of bad weather over the Atlantic, our flight increased to about 14 hours and we flew directly over Baghdad (!), Iceland and Greenland. We came in to NYC via Canada.

Behailu officially became an American on April 25th :)

He is a beautiful boy from a beautiful country with a beautiful family. I am thrilled for Kelly and eternally grateful for her for giving me the opportunity to share this experience with her! I will never forget what I learned on this trip and now consider myself a better world citizen thanks to the people of Ethiopia.

In New York with Sheri and Natalie

The video monitor on the plane showing our route to Dubai

Starbucks in Dubai -- I could still speak Venti :)

Downtown Dubai from the plane

Dubai to Ethiopia

Love at 1st site

Kelly and her son

Beautiful Behailu on the balcony at our guest house

Views from the guest house balcony

Traditional Coffee Ceremony Behailu fast asleep with the remote and jellybeans on the 1st night. This was the 1st time he wore jammies and undies and used a remote and flushed a toilet!Our friends at The Addis Guest House -- Awesome hospitality!

Pretty trees and flowers outside Sele Anat orphanage

Living large in Business Class :)

Ethiopia Bound!

2009-04-08T16:11:00.004-04:00

A very dear friend of mine, Kelly, is adopting a beautiful 5 year old boy from Ethiopia. She has been waiting MONTHS upon MONTHS to bring him to her loving home. She finally got the call with her travel dates and asked me to be her travel companion. I am beyond thrilled to be there as they meet for the 1st time! Just thinking of that moment fills my eyes with tears of happiness. He is so loved already before making his way home to TN. This is just so amazing and my heart is so happy for her and their family.

My wonderful Curly is taking a week off from work to take care of my Mommy duties so I can travel with Kelly. He is so awesome. His friends, however, are wondering how they can ship their wives off to Africa.....lol. Right now we are working on travel arrangements but we plan to leave on 4/18. I will post pictures of sweet B as soon as I am able to :) He will melt your heart!

There is room in my suitcase (gasp! I have room in my suitcase?!?! LOL) so if anyone would like to make a donation to the orphanage, there is still time to get them to me. Leave me a comment and I will email you my address.

We will be spending time with the kids at the orphange and plan to take lots of photos for Mommies and Dadddies that are waiting on their children to come home. I remember how precious those photos were to me as we waited for Devon to make her way home.

***EDITED TO ADD THAT THE ORPHANAGE COULD USE THE FOLLOWING***
*Good diaper rash cream
*cloth diapers
*plastic diaper covers, smaller sizes
*toys for kids of all ages
*twin sheets
*crib sheets

Objects in the Box are not as Large as They Appear

2009-04-05T17:13:00.002-04:00

So to say that I've gotten a little chubbier since losing my mom is an understatement. I've done my share of emotional eating since she was in the hospital and it's all caught up to me. I've decided to grab the big old bull by the horns and I started Weight Watchers online this week. So far, so good. I'm allowed to eat a certain amount of points per day so obviously I try to maximize those points. Yesterday at the grocery store, I stumbled upon these little gemstones that are only 1 point. After I opened the box and pulled one out, I darn near pee'd my pants laughing at the minute size. And get this, they aren't even filled with cream! LOL They literally are the size of my pinkie (see image #2). Total bait and switch!

I Love My Daddy!

2009-03-17T20:45:00.003-04:00

Daddy came to my rescue and bought me a fabulous new laptop for my birthdy because my goofy Acer kicked the bucket. I now present to you the Gateway (and link to all of my friends and life!!!):

Logan's 6th Birthday Party

2009-02-22T20:28:00.004-05:00

We had sooooo much fun today! Logan turns 6 on Tuesday (how can he be 6 already???) and we had his birthday party at My Gym. We invited Logan's entire Kindergarten class and some friends and nearly everyone came. My goodness, there was a ton of 5 and 6 year old energy in that room! I think the kids all really enjoyed themselves and Logan had a BLAST! The played games, did freeze dance, played hide and seek and then did Space Flight on the zip line. We had Mario cake and the kids went home with Mario goodie bags. I bet they are all sleeping good tonight :)

Do You Believe in Signs? I Do.

2009-02-20T00:33:00.003-05:00

Today is 2 weeks since my mom passed and some days are harder than others. Today was rough. I've been missing her so much. My mom and I didn't see eye to eye on everything but we did talk about 5 times a day and when you talk to someone that much you don't always see eye to eye. I am thankful for the time I had with her at the end. I got plenty of chances to tell her that I love her and that I would take care of things after she left.

Well, here comes the "signs" part. Stuck inside my mom's will was a letter that my foster mother wrote to my parents as they were bringing me home. I was with a foster mother before my parents adopted me. I cherish all of the correspondence that we have with Devon's foster mom and we talk about her and look at pictures often. She is an important part of Devon's life just like my foster mom (although I do not know her) played an important role in my life.

Curly and I have gone back and forth and have talked about adopting again and we've faced some roadblocks. Now I think I know why. We are meant to be foster parents because we understand the important role that a foster parent plays in a child's life. We know it just isn't the fear of letting them go when it is time but was is important is the impact we can make while they are with us.

So we are signed up to take an insane amount of classes through the county starting at the beginning of March. I'm excited. I am really excited.

Celebration of My Mom's Life

2009-02-15T23:25:00.007-05:00

Today was a rough day but it I was able to get a little more closure. My mom always made me promise that I wouldn't throw a "lavish" funeral for her. We granted her wish and had a "Celebration of Life" at my brother's restaurant with friends and family today. It was nice. I'm still numb and feel like this is a dream/nightmare but it was nice being with all of the people who have given us such strength through this rough time. We all took time to look at her happy pictures and talk about fun times. And of course, we listened to reggae as our background music :)

The memorial cards were designed by http://www.littleladybugdesigns.com/ She is so awesome to work with and I reccommend her highly!Isn't this a precious picture of Logan?

All of us after a long afternoon

Valentine Fun & Chuck

2009-02-13T16:53:00.004-05:00

So far we've had 2 Valentine's Day parties. One was at Logan's class and the 2nd was at Chuck E. Cheese's with our Guatemalan group. Both were super fun.

I think Devon is ready for pre-school. Look at her in the middle of all those Kindergarteners!
My happy boy

Playing Mario Karts

This was the ONLY time that she didn't slide down head 1st.....sweet little daredevil!

"Play Freebird!!" Devon thinking that Chuck takes requests....lol.

Here favorite "games" were these free button. A-OK with me :)

Reggae Dancing in Heaven

2009-02-11T00:17:00.003-05:00

Last Thursday my mom died in my dad's arms at home. She left us quietly and is no longer in pain. I miss her like crazy and each day is a new struggle to get past the tears and sadness. Tonight I am going through pictures for her Celebration of Life and scanned in a few of my favorites. Even though my mom isn't here with me, I know exactly where she is. She is up in heaven, dancing in the sand at a Bob Marley concert and I know that she has the best tan there :)

Thanks to all of my friends for their love, support and prayers. Your strength has pulled me through these rough times.

The Emotional Roller Coaster of Stolen Hope

2009-02-02T00:35:00.002-05:00

We're pretty much in a holding pattern in terms of my mom and her health. She's had so many negative health effects in the past few days (hallucinations, bloating/swelling, inability to produce urine) but today she was lucid and full of sass! She was rolling her eyes, making faces and back to her usual antics. I honestly don't know what to think. I know that she is incredibly sick and the medical staff is just working on providing her comfort and not health improvement at this point. We are meeting with hospice people tomorrow morning to talk about our next steps in terms of mom's care.

I appreciate all of your continued prayers, good thoughts and words. They have given me strength that I never knew existed inside of me. I only wish my mom peace and to not be in pain anymore.

Sister Maria Chi Chi

2009-01-27T00:11:00.003-05:00

This is how I found Devon this afternoon when I went to wake her up from her nap. How precious is she? She looks like a little nun with her blanket on her head like a habit and her hands in the praying position. I called her Sister Maria Chi Chi because we call Devon Sissy around the house and when she says it, it comes out as Chi Chi. It makes us all giggle. I love my little angel :)

The "Gamers"

Random Cuteness

2009-01-25T20:51:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty psyched that they have Wi-Fi access at the hospital. My mom is still in ICU and we should know more in a few days according to the doctors around here.

Here are a few pictures from Christmas that will steal your heart :)

My Career Day Cutie :)

2009-01-23T23:19:00.004-05:00

Logan had "Career Day" at school today and he wanted to dress up like Uncle Shawn and go to as an Executive Chef/Restaurant Owner. How cute is he in my brother's chef jacket?? He told everyone that he wanted to be a chef so he could make a lot of cakes because he likes eating cakes :) I think he is adorable!

Logan also lost his 2nd tooth this week. He was so excited and came running to Curly and I yelling "My tooth, my tooth! Let's go to Gamestop!" I had to tell him that although Gamestop does buy, sell & trade, teeth are not considered legal tender at Gamestop and he needed to wait for the Tooth Fairy to deliver the loot.

On a sadder note, my mom has been in the ICU since Tuesday. She is on a ventilator. She was finally well enough to have surgery this morning. She slept most of the day so she was having a hard time falling asleep tonight. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband that has been helping me out overtime around the house so I can be with my mom. I also have wonderful friends that are praying for her and visiting. My friend Sara got me down to the cafeteria this afternoon for some lunch and my friend Michelle stayed with my mom and me, holding her hand with me until she fell asleep.

Unexpected Happy Email

2009-01-20T00:09:00.003-05:00

I was so excited to come home today to find an email from Devon's foster mom! She sends them through her brother's email account in Spanish and I have a wonderful friend who translates them for me (so much for all of that HS and college Spanish!). I was so worried because when my computer crashed a few months ago, I lost his email address.....UGH! But now I have it again. She is such a sweet soul. She wrote to thank us for the Christmas gifts and pictures and says that she is so happy to see how much we love Devon and how big she is getting. She also said that she gets a little sad because she misses her so much. She gave me her cell phone number and she and her boys want us to visit soon! I want to go back soooo bad! First, her birthmom says that she looks forward to the day we visit and now Guadalupe tells me that she wants to see us again. Come on economy, shape up so I can ship out and visit these wonderful woman :) They are both incredible!

A Few Days of Ups & Downs with More Ups

2009-01-19T23:14:00.003-05:00

Well, my mom is back in the hospital. My dad had to call 911 yesterday because she could barely breath. It was a long night last night and day today waiting for answers that never came. It honestly breaks my heart to see my mom so sick in that hospital bed. I feel so helpless and just wish there was something that I could do than just sit there by her bed side. I know she was so happy to see the kids today. Devon cuddled with her in the bed and Logan told her that he loves her. I hope tomorrow brings us some direction.

I knew in the back of my mind that my mom was likely going back to the hospital but we tried to make it a fun weekend. Friday was a "cold day" (not "snow day" but because it got below -18 degrees, they called off school). We played inside and stayed warm. On Saturday, the kids went to gymnastics where they had a Parent's Night Out. They LOVE it there and we secretly love getting a little break for a romantic dinner where chicken nuggets aren't served and no one needs there food cut up....lol. Curly and I had a nice dinner and then got some Starbucks and just sat in the van and talked as the snow came down outside. It's awesome to reconnect like that after busy days and nights. On Sunday we took the kids for haircuts at this cute little kid's salon that we go to. Devon got a trim and Logan got a much needed cut. Devon loves sitting in the Dora Jeep and Logan loves that they have video games for him to play :) We finished the day off with some shopping and dinner out.

I am so proud to be an American at such an important point in our nation's history. Tomorrow Barack Obama will become our 44th President. I am so happy and have been glued to all of the coverage. Seeing all of those people who made the journey to DC is amazing. I would love to be a part of that but I'll settle for watching it on TV because it sure does look cold and crowded....lol. I've heard that some really great legislation will be passing over President Obama's desk in the next few days. Things that are important to so many like FINALLY approving the expansion of SCHIP (health insurance for children), increased funding for IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act), expanding early childhood preschool programs to name a few that are near and dear to my heart. I cannot wait to see Barack take the Oath of Office tomorrow. That moment will live with me in my heart forever!

Hmm, what's in here???

Excuse me Lady, what you doin' back there?

Logan: pre-haircut

I'm Back

2009-01-17T00:24:00.000-05:00

One thing's for sure, I let blogging slip big time at the end of last year. So much has happened since my last post. Some awesome and some rough.

We took the kids to Disney and had a flippin' blast beyond belief. We stayed close to home with friends and family over the holidays and made memories that will last a lifetime. I got my nose pieced and finally learned how to change the rhinestone. Curly and I snuck out for a few much needed dates. The kids have kept us laughing. Logan is a Wii champion and Devon is loving gymnastics.

Some things have been hard. My mom has been in and out of the hospital a few times and hasn't been herself. I think about her health non-stop. A close friend of mine lost her beautiful daughter very tragically.....that has made my heart heavy. We've had some personal rough patches that we are trudging through while holding our heads high.

Both the good and the not so good in the recent past gave me my motto for 2009......"Love like there is no tomorrow". In my heart, I've always tried to live my life like that. Making it my motto and my blog title makes it official.

Welcome back to my old readers and I hope some new ones come along for the ride on the Silly Santilli bus. Fun pictures to come :)